Aloha from Oahu

I friends and family. I know it has been a while but I am settling down and recovering from a week of the stomach flu and ready to get rocking and rolling on A LOT of exciting things. A updated and I am sure long post will follow. In the mean time I have errands to run and crazy kids to tackle. Love to all!!!

Article the Y did on me

Patricia Poston

Patricia Polston read the stories on this page and was inspired to share her own. This military spouse is living in San Diego for just a year, but has managed to make the most of her health in the last months.

"I have always been big (270 max). I had gastric bypass when I was 19 years old. I lost weight, of course, but I wasn't fit. I got married and had two babies and weighed 210 pounds. Surgery wasn't a cure-all. In September I joined, and I also enrolled in a nutrition class because it wasn't just about me, it was about my whole family. With the knowledge I learned in my nutrition class and my commitment to come to the Y (Toby Wells) I have lost 45 pounds! I have never, EVER achieved this type of goal before.

I am very diverse with my workouts. I am no longer the girl in elastic pants in the back of the room, too horrified to look at myself. I am the girl in front, shaking her hips at Zumba, doing mountain climbers and bicep curls in TBW, doing core strengthening in Pilates or just breathing and stretching in yoga.

My two girls love going to Kid's Place when I work out, and they enjoy all of the staff. I love how the staff knows them by name and welcomes them every time we come in. The staff at the desk are so nice and beautiful (inside and out), and all the fitness trainers are amazing, because they are down to earth and friendly.

Going there is a must for me now, or else I don't feel like my day has been completed. The YMCA is amazing. Over the holidays, my family and I went out of town, and we utilized the local Y.

I wish I knew of you guys sooner because we are departing San Diego in March. I WILL be joining YMCA at our next home. So ... THANK YOU, for you were my first Y and I will continue to be a member no matter where the military takes us!" — posted 2/16/11

Patricia Poston with her family before she joined the Y. "I have lost 47 pounds total now, and think in next week or two it will be the big 50!"

See more inspiring stories

Wild for Zumba and not so wild for other things

What a weekend I have had this past weekend.
We had our planned garage sale the lasted for THREE days and on top of that Saturday was my big day of attending Zumba Instructor Training. I have an amazing mother-in-law who comes into town and help Eric and I deal with the chaos. It was incredible and am very fortunate and blessed to have done it.

 Woke up Saturday bright and early and Eric and Gran (mother-in-law name the girls use) took care of the girls and the garage sale and I focused on packing for 9 hours of Zumba. I brought a large duffel with extra clothes ( I sweat a lot), towel, sweat shirt, dance sneakers. I also brought a cooler packed full of healthy and yummy snacks and 2 large bottles of Smart Water.

My family and I right before I left for the Workshop

The training was in Otay Mesa with a wonderful ZES (Zumba Education Specialist) named Eliza Stone. Eliza has pretty much been in fitness and nutrition for 18 years and been with Zumba from the start. She has personally worked with Beto (Creator of Zumba) and been in multiple videos. So, I got there around 8:15 am after a 20 minute drive south and Otay Mesa is literally spitting distance from Mexico. Went inside the gym and there was a line of mostly women being checked in. Walked into the big gym room and people lined around the perimeter of the room.  I think I recall the number 55 being mentioned of how many participants were there.
There was a table filled with Zumba Gear . At 9 am class promptly started with introduction and the Master Class with Eliza. It was instense and fun! I loved how she made people rotate so those in the back had a chance to get in front and so on. The master class went on for 1 1/2 which of course feels like 5 minutes. I was very surprised to see Lori ( My Zumba instructor at the Y) pop in and dance. It means a lot because I know she came to support me. She even bought me a Zumba shirt. With out her reference I probably wouldn't have had this opportunity. After, the master class lecture started. Sitting on the wood floor was a bit of a bother but the lecture was fun. Eliza kept it upbeat and fun.

Lunch was 45 minutes and some ladies nearby decided we need food food. I have originally packed tuna salad with cracker kit and there was going to be no way that was going to tide me over. So, Subway was the go to choice.

It was nice bonding with some of the other attendees. It's also another reason why I love Zumba so much. People from all walks of life can Zumba with no background in dance or fitness. Zumba is a party, having fun, feeling the music and letting your body move to it. Nobody cares what the other person looks like and so on.

Sandy and I. Amazing woman from Orange County

Action shot of doing lecture/routines

Me after Master Class on 2nd shirt of the day

So, after lunch class kept going and we did routines, more lecture, routines and repeat. We even choreographed a dance in groups and did things with partners. It was fun, exhilarating and very very tiring. There were times I was sitting on the hard wood floor eyeballing my duffel thinking how comfortable it would be underneath my head. At the end we danced to 4 songs and I was totally on my last leg. I have went through 3 shirts throughout the whole day and lots and lots of water.

Eliza and I after receiving certificate

I did become a ZIN ( Zumba Instructor Network) member so I have access to all the goodies and so fourth and I do plan on having a job with Zumba in Hawaii. Be it at a gym facility or community events (Civilian or military). I really want to focus on the military of course and spouses. I am not hoping for a large sum of money or anything because doing this was fo me but would love to put my skills to work.

My goodies

Sunday, woke up great still on my Zumba high. We were on day two of garage sale and Eric and Gran did a great job on Saturday. During a slow time, i decided to clean things out that have been sitting outside. We have two small wooden beach chairs and I brought them over to the hose to start spraying them. As I was praying down the 2nd one and flipping it over i felt the sting on my left middle finger. I flipped the chair over so I can see where my fingers were and saw the black widow spider drop to the ground and seen the web with three white egg sacks. I immediately freaked and knew in my head I need to stay calm. I called Eric on cell since he took the girls for a walk and said come home. Eric came home and i ran my finger under cold water and washed my hands. Eric did some resaerch and I was already feeling symptoms, nausea, headache. He decided it was best to go to ER at Navy Medical Center. Waited forever and my body started cramping.
Nausea was out of this world and my head was throbbing. I got in with in after about an hour wait and the Nurse pract. basically said, " Oh you have a black widow bite? Here's some benadryl." WTF Eric and I were both wondering why she didn't ask about symptoms. I felt like i didn't get good "customer  service". The discharge nurse came in and gave me papers. he told me what to do it bite becomes an abscess and then asked if i had any questions. Uh yeah I do. I asked, " what about the symptoms I am experiencing now, how long to I deal with this? Are they going to get worse? Better?" He looked at me and asked if the doc asked me about symptoms? Eric and I shook our head no and he took my papers back and said he'll be back. So we waited for a while longer just for the Nurse Practiner to just say that i have to suffer and if the suffering is real bad... she can order medicine. needless to say, Eric had to call the hospital and get a script for pain killers and anti nausea medicine. That night was so horrible. I do not wish it on anyone. My whole body ached, my joints hurt like my elbows, knees and fingers. Despite all the meds I was on, I could not sleep from pain. Once I did go to sleep though I got better. So, all in all first 8-12 hours SUCK!!

So, like I said. What a weekend.  I am a Zumba instructor!!! woohoo! Other than the spider bite I wouldn't trade it for the world.

If you are serious about your goals, drop the conditions. Go directly to your goal. Be your goal!

My life has been changed, ALL FOR THE BETTER.
I now appreciate life in so many ways. I enjoy things more and I really am dedicated. I want to be the best version of myself that I can be.  So, stop asking what diet I am doing. I am not doing any program. I am doing what we have been taught in school by following the food pyramid and eating food that fuels my body and exercise routinely. If you have a goal, stop making excuses and do it!.

I believe in you.
XOXO

Feeling Guilty

Call me crazy.

I am not feeling well at all today. I been kind of a bum despite cleaning the girls bedroom floor. Someone had an accident right beside her potty. Or cleaning the entire bathroom, doing laundry. Well, more like put the clothes in the washer and dryer and leave them in basket. Or loading and unloading dishes in washer. We didn't venture outside or even change clothes. My appetite is not there and when I try to eat I feel worse and want to hurl. The girls are happy entertaining themselves and watching Curious George.

But all day despite feeling like crap, I knew I was going to go to the gym for my 6:30 pm class. My husband, Eric, came home and he immediately noticed something was wrong with me because I was laying on the couch looking and feeling miserable. He said, "No gym today." In my head I was thinking, "Yes, let me just lay down for a sec and then I will feel better." Time came to get ready and I stood up and my world spinned. I then had a talk with myself (more like convince myself). "If I went, I wouldn't be working out to my full potential and not burning a lot of calories. Plus, I hardly eaten all day and if I burn the calories I happen to eat there would be no way I could make up for the calories lost. You need to take a hot shower, shave while in there, and lotion up and do a little pampering. " and that's what I did.

After my shower, I drank water and was feeling a bit better. I decided to do more dishes and start cutting squash for tomorrows dinner. I was feeling pretty hungry so I had a banana. Bad idea. I immediately felt terrible again. Headaches, stomach ache, nausea. Sucks.

But yet, I am still overcome with the feeling of guilt for missing my workout. I also realized that I feel guilty on days where we have plans to do something ( weekends). Last Saturday was my planned rest day. Well, that night was also a UFC fight and I drank wine ( Like a whole bottle). So the next day was another planned off day but I squeezed in a workout at noon and barely making it to our friends house, who live an hour away, before kickoff of the Superbowl. I was quilty for drinking the wine the night before so I felt like I needed to counter balance it with a good workout. I feel guilty for missing workouts (like today) and feel like I accomplished nothing at all.

So, I am realizing that I really need to try harder at incorporating a period of rest in between some tough weeks of workouts. I don't want to cause damage when in my mind I think I am doing something good to my body. I guess my fear is that in the two days that I missed I am going to be over 200 pounds again.

50 pounds!!!!! Fuck yeah!

Can you tell I am ecstatic by the title? Well, I have every right to be. Wooohoo!!! I lost 50 freaking pounds with pure hard "Sweaty" work and determination. I have never accomplished anything like this in my life.

ALSO, never in my life would I have thought I would become some sort of fitness instructor. Like never. But on  Feb. 19th I am going to a 9 hour workshop to become a qualified Zumba Instructor! Woohoo. I am excited but I know it is going to be tough. 9 hours. whew. Thinking about it makes me sweat.

Well, I know this is a short post but I will show off some pictures that I took. Before and current. Just know that as I have said before, this is a life change. I am not going to stop working out or stop eating right because I lost 50 pounds. I am going to keep doing what I am doing and become even better with my fitness.

Enjoy the pics!

Disclaimer: Tattoo's do not magically appear just because of weight loss lol

I'm a snow leapord

"OH GOD THERE'S AN ORGY IN MY MOUTH!"

I am learning to experiment with food. I am literally going to the produce section and picking a veggie that I have never seen before and take it home and do something with it.
That past time I did this, I took home a butternut squash. I tried it before when it was cooked. Lean Cuisine also makes a great frozen entree called Butternut Squash Ravioli. I have never seen a butternut squash in it's original form. I am home now and scouring the internet for healthy meals the incorporate butternut squash. Roasting it and adding spices was a bit boring for me. Make a desert type casserole was a bit much and the more stuff you put in it the less healthy it becomes. I wanted something different. Then I came across it! Moroccan Tangine found on allrecpie.com. I looked at it's ingredient list and I was surprised that i could actually make this dish ASAP because I had all the ingredients.
Here is the recipe

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves - cut into chunks
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 small butternut squash, peeled and chopped
• 1 (15.5 ounce) can garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 carrot, peeled and chopped
• 1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes with juice
• 1 (14 ounce) can vegetable broth (make sure to get low sodium)
• 1 tablespoon sugar ( I used Splenda)
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground coriander
• 1 dash cayenne pepper

Directions

1. Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat, and cook the chicken, onion, and garlic about 15 minutes, until browned.
2. Mix the squash, garbanzo beans, carrot, tomatoes with juice, broth, sugar, and lemon juice into the skillet. Season with salt, coriander, and cayenne pepper. Bring the mixture to a boil, and continue cooking 30 minutes, until vegetables are tender. 

 

I didn't know what to expect when I made it. When I tried it, there was explosion of flavor in my mouth. Like Stewie on Family Guy, "OH GOD THERE'S AN ORGY IN MY MOUTH!" It's that freaking good. It can also become a vegetarian dish by omitting the chicken... but I like my meat. 

 

Try it, it's fabulous. I literally had it for dinner then for lunch the following two days. Best of all it's healthy!

Serving Size	1/6 of a recipe
Servings Per Recipe	6
Amount Per Serving
Calories	265
Calories from Fat	39
	% Daily Value *
Total Fat 4.3g	7 %
** Saturated Fat 0.7g	3 %
** Cholesterol 20mg	7 %
Sodium 878mg	35 %
** Potassium 905mg	25 %
Total Carbohydrates 44.7g	14 %
Dietary Fiber 8.1g	32 %
Protein 14.2g	28 %
** Sugars 9.3g
Vitamin A	407 %
Vitamin C	76 %
Calcium	18 %
Iron	41 %
** Thiamin	22 %
** Niacin	54 %
** Vitamin B6	46 %
** Magnesium	31 %
** Folate

 

I should also let you know my kids loved it too.

 

"Looking back would you do it all over again?"

"Looking back would you do it all over again?" That was the question I was asked a few days ago over Facebook from a friend from high school. This is in reference to Gastric Bypass Surgery that I had in 2005 when I was 19 years old.

I have been bigger all throughout childhood and adolescent years.

My highest weight ever was 260 pounds. I was always the girl with a pretty face or the proportionate fat girl. I mirrored my mom a lot back then. She was big too. She had Gastric bypass before I did. I really don't remember what conversation my mom and I had to get the process going but obviously we had one.

I had the Open Roux-en-Y procedure.Here is a description with the help of www.webmd.com

"In a Roux-en-Y gastric bypass, the stomach is made smaller by creating a small pouch at the top of the stomach using surgical staples or a plastic band. The smaller stomach is connected directly to the middle portion of the small intestine (jejunum), bypassing the rest of the stomach and the upper portion of the small intestine (duodenum)."

When I say open, it means I was cut open to have the procedure done. Tricare approved that because it was tried and true and before lapraoscopic procedures were common. While they were in there they removed my gall bladder as well since gallstones is very common in patients. 

In the part of the stomach that was removed they placed a drain in it and a hole in the left side of my stomach which needed to be emptied frequently. 

So had surgery and was stapled inside and out. It looked like a rail road track was laid down on my stomach and I had a plastic tube with a reservoir that holds stomach contents sticking out of my left side.I had to learn how to eat all over again starting off by eating liquid ounces, then mush and on to soft solids. Also, simple sugars like candy, soda, ice cream and such causes a negative effect on a person called Dumping Syndrome. 
"This happens because food moves too quickly through the stomach and intestines. It can cause shaking, sweating, dizziness, rapid heart rate, and often severe diarrhea." Usually when that happened, I wanted to die. It is such miserable and painful experience. But, what I have found out that if I had a diet coke and got sick, I would try it again and I soon gained a tolerance to it. So, lost about 100 pounds. I exercised during the transition but I didn't really work hard at it. I was more into my social life at that point because I was getting smaller therefore more attractive to the opposite sex which of course being my 19 year old self, I basked in it and started to become the type of girl I personally detest.

At my smallest 160lbs and no boobs

With the surgery and having your intestines rerouted it is not uncommon to become anemic with iron and b12 and other mineral deficiencies which the doctors encouraged supplements. Did I listen? No. When I was pregnant with Caitlin, I of course took prenatal vitamin whenever I remembered. I was so miserable with the pregnancy and did not associate it with mineral deficiencies. Had to go to emergency room several times and each time was given a prescription for Iron. Caitlin was born very underweight and jaundiced. I tried breastfeeding and for the first 4 months of her life she was not thriving. It wasn't that I didn't produce milk but my milk wasn't full of nutrients like a normal woman would have. So, she was put on preemie formula and she fattened up real quick.

Eric with baby Caitlin @ 3 months old no meat on her.

In early September 2010, I was super sick and on my period. I was so sick I was in the commissary and I was looking for someone to call an ambulance. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I was faint, pale, and sleepy. I just could not function and even think coherently. Our friend Jason was in town and he is in Physician Asisstant School and we were going over symptoms and he asked if I am deficient in minerals. Then it clicked. Also, because I was on my period and losing blood it made symptoms that much worse. I called my doctor and immediately got prescription for b12 shots and got iron. Because I have been deficient for so long it took my body a while to adjust. The doctors then said i should gone in and gotten a blood transfusion. I was stupid and naive and now I can say I am taking supplements every single day.

Complications are common in having Gastric Bypass. My mom experienced a life threatening one but will not go into detail about it because it's not my story to tell.

Also, the pouch that is your new stomach is still a muscle and with that it stretches. Which is what happened to me. I became more tolerant to foods and then got into my negative ways with partying and not eating healthy foods. Then met husband and got into happy relationship weight and then produced 2 kids and therefore gained 50 pounds and somehow got over 200 lbs again.

"Looking back would you do it all over again?"

No. Despite having to go to a class given by the hospital and having psychiatric approval I wasn't equipped with the proper knowledge of food, diet and exercise. I won't discredit the surgery at all though. Surgery is a great jump start but it is not a solution. I was 19 and pretty self absorbed and was only looking at immediate picture. I wanted quick and easy weight loss. I wouldn't recommend anyone my age to have it.
Use that energy investing into surgery and obtain a dietitian/nutritionist and tools to help aid in pursuing a healthy lifestyle instead.

In September, when I decided to change my lifestyle I enrolled in a nutrition class which also goes toward my major. I also logged everything using www.myfitnesspal.com which I still do to this day. I also utilize a food scale and actually eat a serving. A food scale helps put a visual on a serving size that is on the nutrition label of foods. They are a great tool and are inexpensive. They have them at Target.

Now Fitness. It's hard but I personally think the food part is the hardest. Working out takes an hour a day. Eating is an all day event. Making healthy breakfast, lunch ,dinner and snack choices. Plus there are so many temptations with fast food chains being on every corner and those commercials. We live in a world where quick and easy is priority. We just have to get over that concept and with that we make healthier decisions and benefit all over.

Back to fitness, I dreaded it. Why did I dread it though? Why do most people dread it? For me, it was looking like an idiot when performing the exercises wrong, or looking like an idiot when trying to speed walk or jog and be huffing and puffing while not keeping up. So fear of looking like an idiot and then actually having to push myself and do something I never done made it easy to say, "I can't".

So, I tried multiple gyms and was bored and found everything to be tedious. I did love working with someone, someone who was going through what I was going through. That is why I fell in love with the YMCA here in San Diego. Majority of the people there are average joes. The trainers and instructors are average joes and don't think of you as a statistic or push you to do something that cost more money to get special incentives or perks. YMCA doesn't do that and it is also cheaper. I don't have to pay extra for my kids to be watched and the membership is for my whole family. We pay 45.00 a month.

I eased my way into it. I knew from Eric's lectures, educating myself and even my own experience is to not over do it. So, I started off taking low impact aerobics. I was the youngest person there by about 30 years and the class still kicked my ass. I had Granny Ethel moving way better than me and not winded what so ever. I felt terrible and did not enjoy seeing myself in the mirrors that lined the entire length of the wall. I kept going back, and kept going and tried new classes. I also wear a heart rate monitor watch by Polar. It is a wonderful tool to have for any body doing fitness from beginner to advanced. Each day has now turned into months and I am addicted to going. I even still go to the low impact class once a week because it was that class that has started me. I tried so many classes, yoga, pilates, trx, bodypump, swim, Zumba, total body workout, step. So, the point is to not over do it and find something you like doing. The healthier I got the more I wanted to do more active activites like hiking and such.

My husband and I when we completed a hike

I wouldn't have the surgery if i had the choice to do it all over but I am also thankful for it because it is part of my life and who I am and i live with the evidence of it which is a lovely scar going down my stomach and taking multiple pills every day to be healthy.

Who knows really, I probably wouldn't have met my husband and had my two daughters if I didn't have it. For anyone who has considered having weight loss surgery or is overweight, obese, morbidly obese own up to it and take control of your body. Food is fuel. Fuel your body with the good stuff. Don't do the fad diets and don't treat yourself for a cheat day. Eat food but moderately. Learn what everything on a nutrition label is and what those vitamins and minerals do for your body. Learn what a calorie is and so on. It's worth knowing. I really enjoyed my nutrition class and have applied it. I thought I knew a lot already about food and such but I was astonished at how much I did not know.

So that's it folks. I am not a professional or anything just a person wanting to have a better quality of life and sharing my experience since I have multiple questions. You may meet someone else who may have a total different story with Gastric Bypass but this is my story. I really cannot express the feeling i get when people right me messages and give me compliments saying I have inspired them. How could I actually inspire someone? Crazy. So thank you.

Ps. I have been tracking my weightloss with pictures and I am going to share a picture that I took the other day. I told myself I never ever will share these type of pictures but I am doing it. I am finally comfortable to talk about my weight and how much I weigh. I also appreciate my body now and love it. My stomach although not taut and pretty is in the best shape it has ever been. I have loose skin, huge scar, dimples and stretch mark but I have worked very hard and am very proud I own this body. 

 

New Year, New Me

So, it has been a awhile since last post so lets do a quick recap. Holidays came and went. Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas and oh yes I have lost a total of 41 pounds! 

Myself before I decided on life change with my family when my husband made rank

Current

In the beginning of November I decided to try a new class at my YMCA called Zumba. I have tried Zumba before in Panama City with a lady named Aimee. I was very discouraged and left the class never looking back. Well, I decided to give it a go because there must have been a reason why so many people line up to take the class. I went to Zumba where a lday named Fleeta was teaching. LOVE LOVE LOVE. I have been going consistently since then and have really discovered a love for my body and the way it moves. What can I say, I love shaking what my momma gave me. Zumba with Fleeta does not feel like a workout. It is a party with shouts, singing, lots of smiles and lots of sweat. My husband bought me a Polar FT6 heart rate monitor watch for our anniversary/birthday/Christmas present. I Love it. It says I burn 1,000 + calories with Zumba.




I still utilize www.myfitnesspal.com religiously with counting calories and logging food, exercise, measurements and water intake. 


So as stated above, holidays came and went and with that is family get togethers and lots of food in celebration. I will confess, I did partake in some Christmas goodies and alcohol but I still worked out. Since we were out of town in Wisconsin for Christmas we sledded. Walking up and down hills in layers and layers of clothing will give you a workout. I also went to their local YMCA there and took 2 classes. So, yes I enjoyed the holidays and still got exercise and still lost weight.


I am going to do my best with keeping this blog more active. You also know I have a family and two toddlers. I get so many messages on facebook from people who ask me for tips, recipes, give compliments, how to's and opinions on certain things regarding my journey. So, instead of answering multiple people I will post here on this blog and will keep everyone anonymous. I am motivated by everyone's compliments, questions and concerns. I can not express how gooey it makes me feel inside. I am working very hard and the result is weight loss yes but I have never ever been happy like this for myself and the person I am becoming.


Tomorrow, I am going to post a blog about my weight loss surgery I had in 2005. A person I knew in high school privately messaged me contemplating on having the procedure themselves. The person asked, " Looking back would you do it all over again?" 


Well, what do you think?

One month later and 22 pounds less of me!

See the picture of me? Yup, that's me and I took this picture because I wanted to share with the world how HAPPY I am. Also, you can see that my face has slimmed down a bit. So, yes, a month has passed and I am still going strong on my life-change journey. Usually, I would have quit by now by aches and pains and discouragement. Not once have I lost my motivation and I am super proud of that. In the past month the Poston girls flew to Panama City, Florida to visit my family. I totally went there thinking, "This is going to be great, have everything planned out, everyone is going to be so happy and visit so many people." Boy, was I very wrong! Everything was exactly the opposite. Granted, I love seeing my family and get to know my nephew but it was not what I had imagined it would have been. Needless to say it was a long 2 1/2 weeks. But, it made me realize that home is where you make it. Panama City is not home anymore. My home is here in San Diego with my husband, kids and stinky dogs. So, I didn't meet with old friends because basically I don't have any. I have 1 very good friend but she lived an hour away so we designated our time together and we spent 2 nice days together. What I did do, was keep with the routine of doing something physical and eating right. 3 days out of the week I went to a Stroll N Go group on the local navy base. It was nice to see some familiar faces! The women with this group are amazing and I wish I was a better participant in the past because I really got a good work out in plus I got to socialize. Also, I bought frozen Kashi entrees for my meals and when I ate out with family I made healthy choices and smaller portions.
Myfitnesspal.com is still a great tool and I use it every single day. I log everything that enters my mouth and I log all my exercises including strength. I also make sure to wear my heart rate monitor at every single workout and log calories burned. There was one Saturday in Panama City where I left the girls with my dad and I went to the gym. I was drenched with sweat and numb but I felt GREAT and I burnt 2098 calories!

I mean I made the gym my bitch that morning. Elliptical, stair climber, rowing strength you name it. I was probably letting out some frustration then. lol


So, I came home October 12th  and I was in tears when I saw Eric at the airport. I missed him so much! Caitlin and Scarlett didn't want to leave because they were obviously spoiled there but when they saw Daddy, they quickly forgot about it. Unfortunately, the next day Aunt Flow came to visit me. With that I became very ill. I was having vision problems, fatigue, weakness, numbness on my face and extremities. For the life of me I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I thought maybe it's because I didn't consume enough calories. Got a nutrition bar, that didn't help me. Ok, maybe dehydrated for some reason even though I drink water constantly. I bought another bottle, that didn't help. I could not figure out what was wrong with me. I was at the commissary and I was standing in the rice aisle and I was at the point where I was looking at people nearby to let them know that I need an ambulance. I was ready to pass out. I trudged on though because my family has no food in the house. I made it home, ( I shouldn't have been driving) and I just wanted to fall out. i didn't of course because my babies needed me. Jason, a friend who was in town who used to work with Eric and is a Physician assistant  wannabe said, " Maybe you are anemic." Then it clicked! I am freaking anemic duh! I have been so focused on eating right and being active I forgot all about the supplements I needed to take due to Gastric bypass. Stupid stupid me. So, Eric came home that day with my b12 formula to inject in me. I took iron and unfortunately no immediate relief. It takes a couple days to feel better after a severe deficiency like that. I should have gone to the hospital that day I was in the commissary but I am too stubborn. I need to listen to my body more. So, unfortunately, no workouts for 6 days due to traveling home and being ill. So, this past Monday I started back up with my low impact classes. I still wasn't feeling 100% better but I did it and only came away being a little light headed. Now it's Wednesday and I feel 100% and workout every day so far! My plan is to do a certain aerobics class Monday, Tuesday, and Friday and Wednesday and Thursday do Pilates or weights to build muscle!

Now on to the good stuff. My husband! I am a lucky girl. He supports me and enables me with my life change. We had a date day thanks to a church nearby who watches children for 5 hours for active military members. Originally, I wanted to go hiking! Yes, I want to go hiking! Of course, the weather has been crap and rainy so we mall walked instead. It's nice to hold his hand without pushing a stroller and yelling at a kid. Just us two walking together. Well, we went shopping! My goal was to find a dress for a wedding we are going to, which I did, but he was all about me getting the clothes I needed to work out in. That includes, underwear, bras, socks, pants and shirt. Mind you we only spent money at discounted stores. Ross, Marshalls, Nordstrom rack. We are cheap. We went into sporting goods store and had a blast in there day dreaming of adventures we want to go on. We were eyeballing a jogging stroller/bike trailer contraption. I immediately felt regret because I sold our jogging stroller right before I decided to change. So, this contraption was like a Cadillac. Has all the bells and whistles and the guy who was trying to sell it to us was throwing discounts left and right at us. Still too expensive though. So, Eric when he got home immediately went researching and now I am a proud owner of B.O.B Ironman edition jogging stroller. It is a new to me but used and off of craigslist. It's unfortunate that the weather has been rainy non-stop because I am itching to take it for a spin with the girls. Caitlin is also ready to get in it because it's yellow. It's her favorite color. So, yes my husband supports me and is very pleased with all the changes because they are all positive. That night we had a talk and it was said, that basically if I kept on with my sedentary lifestyle and depressing moods we probably wouldn't make it as a couple. I am not going to lie, it was hard to hear that and I was angry but it wasn't him that I was angry with. It was myself. I had blinders on. How in the world did I not see it form his perspective? Denial... of course. When we met, I was active, spontaneous and I just wasn't that person that he fell in love with. Needless to say I had to take benadryl that night to get to sleep since my mind was going though a lot. I let him know though that marriage is a partnership and we both have to keep it going and make small changes. Not just one person and he fully agrees. I don't want our marriage to be another divorce statistic in young couples. I also let him know that I am doing this change for me because let's face it without a happy wife/momma you don't have a happy home. I am excited to say this is still the beginning but I am very proud of the changes thus far. I am also very realistic, I know weight comes off quickly in the beginning and then steadily come off, I know I will hit plateaus but it's not about weight or numbers on the scale. It's about being healthy in the mind and body.

Some changes I like that I am experiencing is: I am more assertive. I am more opinionated.( I used to be a door mat and let people make decisions for me.) I am more confident in my abilities in performance and appearance. I ASK FOR HELP instead of giving up after being discouraged. I am focused, I am also competitive with myself. Best of all MOTIVATED.

Eric told me last night that he is happy to have his wife back! Me too. I love me. I love becoming the person I am becoming and I will NOT let anyone discourage me.
(I have already had some haters on facebook but guess what? There is a delete button. Teehee.)

Anyways, I must show off my loot.

Not pictured is the plethora of undies, sock, and food scale. Pictured is new B.O.B jogger, some clothing.

New me!

I am making a life change starting today. With these changes I am going to keep this blog as a journal to track my progress.

I am a wife and a mother and I want to be the best I can be at those things. I do my best with taking care of everyone but I really let myself go. Granted, my life has changed dramatically in the past few years. Marriage, two kids and a cross country move. After each kid, I seemed to gain weight and since moving to San Diego I have gained 10 lbs from lack of caring for myself. I let myself go to the point that my wardrobe consist of black stretchy clothes. Rarely, do my hair or put on make up. My eyebrows were hairy caterpillars on my face. My face was breaking out. I was/ am disorganized and lazy. To get things done around the house I needed incentive like a reward or something. I cared about all things around me ( My family) that I didn't give a damn about myself. Well, that is over. I registered for classes (school), made appointments to a Psychiatrist and underwent three hours of testing. Results were that I am slightly stoopid ( thanks to schooling in Florida, I have to blame it on something) and have high anxiety and A.D.D.

I am now a week in on taking prescribed Amphetamine (stimulant). Let me tell you, it is night and day. I actually want to do creative activities with my girls and clean and just be productive all around. I actually get things done!!! It used to be that I would start the laundry but I will never finish before I start another task and when it came to the end of the day nothing was ever completed and was half-assed.
It's been a week now with the meds and my house is sparkling clean, laundry and dishes done and put away. With this renewed motivation I joined the YMCA and today I took my first exercise class. It was low impact aerobics full of old people but I still did it. If I was feeling stupid, clumsy and uncoordinated I would walk out the door and never come back but I stayed and stuck it out! Like I said earlier, the reaction with this medicine is night and day. I am taking my multivitamins, drinking TONS of water. I do have to remind myself to eat because apparently you lose appetite. Which is fine for me. lol. I got excess weight that can come off. One side effect I have noticed though is irritability. The meds give me a high and when I come down from the high... it is best not to push my buttons. I feel horrible because the girls do not deserve my irritability and luckily Eric is not home most of the time so he gets spared. So, I take another pill. I make sure not to take one 6 hours before bed though. I like my sleep.

Since, I am more productive I am doing my best and being organized as well as clean. If a mess is made, I clean it right up. For instance when cooking, after I am done with the measuring cup, I will clean it instead of leaving it in the sink to attract flies. ( Flies is a huge problem in this house....so annoying.)If the girls drop crumbs, I won't wait for the dogs to get it... I will pick it up. I put things away right after I use it so I can avoid clutter.

Also, since I signed up for the Y to be active and the girls can socialize, I decided to better take care of my self inside and out and eat right. It helps also that I am taking a nutrition class for school. I have an assignment to keep a food diary so I created one with www.myfitnesspal.com and I love it. With that too, you can also log exercise and weight progress. It also helps that the website has an app for the Droid so I can enter my stats whenever and wherever. I also decided to stop drinking. I can never seem to just have one glass of something. One usually leads to 2, then 3 and before I know it the whole bottle of wine is gone and I am drunk and miserable the next day. My family members may not want to admit it but alcoholism runs in the family and I don't want to be like that.

With the success of this week I fee renewed. But as a disclosure I am not relying on just meds. I go to therapy. I talk to a stranger and it feels good and I am not ashamed. I get to vent and not worrying about hurting the docs feelings because she is completely unaffected. With a happy wife and mommy the whole family is happy. I am proud of the accomplishments I have made and I am also proud to see my husbands face when he sees all the things accomplished. He is very supportive of me and my decisions. I know he wants me to stick with it and not fall off the wagon which I tend to do. Which is the main reason to blog/ journal my journey of change so I can look back and reflect and maybe gain some support if this journal creates a fan club.
Well, until next time!