Wednesday, October 20, 2010

One month later and 22 pounds less of me!

See the picture of me? Yup, that's me and I took this picture because I wanted to share with the world how HAPPY I am. Also, you can see that my face has slimmed down a bit. So, yes, a month has passed and I am still going strong on my life-change journey. Usually, I would have quit by now by aches and pains and discouragement. Not once have I lost my motivation and I am super proud of that. In the past month the Poston girls flew to Panama City, Florida to visit my family. I totally went there thinking, "This is going to be great, have everything planned out, everyone is going to be so happy and visit so many people." Boy, was I very wrong! Everything was exactly the opposite. Granted, I love seeing my family and get to know my nephew but it was not what I had imagined it would have been. Needless to say it was a long 2 1/2 weeks. But, it made me realize that home is where you make it. Panama City is not home anymore. My home is here in San Diego with my husband, kids and stinky dogs. So, I didn't meet with old friends because basically I don't have any. I have 1 very good friend but she lived an hour away so we designated our time together and we spent 2 nice days together. What I did do, was keep with the routine of doing something physical and eating right. 3 days out of the week I went to a Stroll N Go group on the local navy base. It was nice to see some familiar faces! The women with this group are amazing and I wish I was a better participant in the past because I really got a good work out in plus I got to socialize. Also, I bought frozen Kashi entrees for my meals and when I ate out with family I made healthy choices and smaller portions. is still a great tool and I use it every single day. I log everything that enters my mouth and I log all my exercises including strength. I also make sure to wear my heart rate monitor at every single workout and log calories burned. There was one Saturday in Panama City where I left the girls with my dad and I went to the gym. I was drenched with sweat and numb but I felt GREAT and I burnt 2098 calories!
I mean I made the gym my bitch that morning. Elliptical, stair climber, rowing strength you name it. I was probably letting out some frustration then. lol

So, I came home October 12th  and I was in tears when I saw Eric at the airport. I missed him so much! Caitlin and Scarlett didn't want to leave because they were obviously spoiled there but when they saw Daddy, they quickly forgot about it. Unfortunately, the next day Aunt Flow came to visit me. With that I became very ill. I was having vision problems, fatigue, weakness, numbness on my face and extremities. For the life of me I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I thought maybe it's because I didn't consume enough calories. Got a nutrition bar, that didn't help me. Ok, maybe dehydrated for some reason even though I drink water constantly. I bought another bottle, that didn't help. I could not figure out what was wrong with me. I was at the commissary and I was standing in the rice aisle and I was at the point where I was looking at people nearby to let them know that I need an ambulance. I was ready to pass out. I trudged on though because my family has no food in the house. I made it home, ( I shouldn't have been driving) and I just wanted to fall out. i didn't of course because my babies needed me. Jason, a friend who was in town who used to work with Eric and is a Physician assistant  wannabe said, " Maybe you are anemic." Then it clicked! I am freaking anemic duh! I have been so focused on eating right and being active I forgot all about the supplements I needed to take due to Gastric bypass. Stupid stupid me. So, Eric came home that day with my b12 formula to inject in me. I took iron and unfortunately no immediate relief. It takes a couple days to feel better after a severe deficiency like that. I should have gone to the hospital that day I was in the commissary but I am too stubborn. I need to listen to my body more. So, unfortunately, no workouts for 6 days due to traveling home and being ill. So, this past Monday I started back up with my low impact classes. I still wasn't feeling 100% better but I did it and only came away being a little light headed. Now it's Wednesday and I feel 100% and workout every day so far! My plan is to do a certain aerobics class Monday, Tuesday, and Friday and Wednesday and Thursday do Pilates or weights to build muscle!

Now on to the good stuff. My husband! I am a lucky girl. He supports me and enables me with my life change. We had a date day thanks to a church nearby who watches children for 5 hours for active military members. Originally, I wanted to go hiking! Yes, I want to go hiking! Of course, the weather has been crap and rainy so we mall walked instead. It's nice to hold his hand without pushing a stroller and yelling at a kid. Just us two walking together. Well, we went shopping! My goal was to find a dress for a wedding we are going to, which I did, but he was all about me getting the clothes I needed to work out in. That includes, underwear, bras, socks, pants and shirt. Mind you we only spent money at discounted stores. Ross, Marshalls, Nordstrom rack. We are cheap. We went into sporting goods store and had a blast in there day dreaming of adventures we want to go on. We were eyeballing a jogging stroller/bike trailer contraption. I immediately felt regret because I sold our jogging stroller right before I decided to change. So, this contraption was like a Cadillac. Has all the bells and whistles and the guy who was trying to sell it to us was throwing discounts left and right at us. Still too expensive though. So, Eric when he got home immediately went researching and now I am a proud owner of B.O.B Ironman edition jogging stroller. It is a new to me but used and off of craigslist. It's unfortunate that the weather has been rainy non-stop because I am itching to take it for a spin with the girls. Caitlin is also ready to get in it because it's yellow. It's her favorite color. So, yes my husband supports me and is very pleased with all the changes because they are all positive. That night we had a talk and it was said, that basically if I kept on with my sedentary lifestyle and depressing moods we probably wouldn't make it as a couple. I am not going to lie, it was hard to hear that and I was angry but it wasn't him that I was angry with. It was myself. I had blinders on. How in the world did I not see it form his perspective? Denial... of course. When we met, I was active, spontaneous and I just wasn't that person that he fell in love with. Needless to say I had to take benadryl that night to get to sleep since my mind was going though a lot. I let him know though that marriage is a partnership and we both have to keep it going and make small changes. Not just one person and he fully agrees. I don't want our marriage to be another divorce statistic in young couples. I also let him know that I am doing this change for me because let's face it without a happy wife/momma you don't have a happy home. I am excited to say this is still the beginning but I am very proud of the changes thus far. I am also very realistic, I know weight comes off quickly in the beginning and then steadily come off, I know I will hit plateaus but it's not about weight or numbers on the scale. It's about being healthy in the mind and body.

Some changes I like that I am experiencing is: I am more assertive. I am more opinionated.( I used to be a door mat and let people make decisions for me.) I am more confident in my abilities in performance and appearance. I ASK FOR HELP instead of giving up after being discouraged. I am focused, I am also competitive with myself. Best of all MOTIVATED.

Eric told me last night that he is happy to have his wife back! Me too. I love me. I love becoming the person I am becoming and I will NOT let anyone discourage me.
(I have already had some haters on facebook but guess what? There is a delete button. Teehee.)

Anyways, I must show off my loot.

Not pictured is the plethora of undies, sock, and food scale. Pictured is new B.O.B jogger, some clothing.

Friday, September 17, 2010

New me!

I am making a life change starting today. With these changes I am going to keep this blog as a journal to track my progress.

I am a wife and a mother and I want to be the best I can be at those things. I do my best with taking care of everyone but I really let myself go. Granted, my life has changed dramatically in the past few years. Marriage, two kids and a cross country move. After each kid, I seemed to gain weight and since moving to San Diego I have gained 10 lbs from lack of caring for myself. I let myself go to the point that my wardrobe consist of black stretchy clothes. Rarely, do my hair or put on make up. My eyebrows were hairy caterpillars on my face. My face was breaking out. I was/ am disorganized and lazy. To get things done around the house I needed incentive like a reward or something. I cared about all things around me ( My family) that I didn't give a damn about myself. Well, that is over. I registered for classes (school), made appointments to a Psychiatrist and underwent three hours of testing. Results were that I am slightly stoopid ( thanks to schooling in Florida, I have to blame it on something) and have high anxiety and A.D.D.

I am now a week in on taking prescribed Amphetamine (stimulant). Let me tell you, it is night and day. I actually want to do creative activities with my girls and clean and just be productive all around. I actually get things done!!! It used to be that I would start the laundry but I will never finish before I start another task and when it came to the end of the day nothing was ever completed and was half-assed.
It's been a week now with the meds and my house is sparkling clean, laundry and dishes done and put away. With this renewed motivation I joined the YMCA and today I took my first exercise class. It was low impact aerobics full of old people but I still did it. If I was feeling stupid, clumsy and uncoordinated I would walk out the door and never come back but I stayed and stuck it out! Like I said earlier, the reaction with this medicine is night and day. I am taking my multivitamins, drinking TONS of water. I do have to remind myself to eat because apparently you lose appetite. Which is fine for me. lol. I got excess weight that can come off. One side effect I have noticed though is irritability. The meds give me a high and when I come down from the high... it is best not to push my buttons. I feel horrible because the girls do not deserve my irritability and luckily Eric is not home most of the time so he gets spared. So, I take another pill. I make sure not to take one 6 hours before bed though. I like my sleep.

Since, I am more productive I am doing my best and being organized as well as clean. If a mess is made, I clean it right up. For instance when cooking, after I am done with the measuring cup, I will clean it instead of leaving it in the sink to attract flies. ( Flies is a huge problem in this annoying.)If the girls drop crumbs, I won't wait for the dogs to get it... I will pick it up. I put things away right after I use it so I can avoid clutter.

Also, since I signed up for the Y to be active and the girls can socialize, I decided to better take care of my self inside and out and eat right. It helps also that I am taking a nutrition class for school. I have an assignment to keep a food diary so I created one with and I love it. With that too, you can also log exercise and weight progress. It also helps that the website has an app for the Droid so I can enter my stats whenever and wherever. I also decided to stop drinking. I can never seem to just have one glass of something. One usually leads to 2, then 3 and before I know it the whole bottle of wine is gone and I am drunk and miserable the next day. My family members may not want to admit it but alcoholism runs in the family and I don't want to be like that.

With the success of this week I fee renewed. But as a disclosure I am not relying on just meds. I go to therapy. I talk to a stranger and it feels good and I am not ashamed. I get to vent and not worrying about hurting the docs feelings because she is completely unaffected. With a happy wife and mommy the whole family is happy. I am proud of the accomplishments I have made and I am also proud to see my husbands face when he sees all the things accomplished. He is very supportive of me and my decisions. I know he wants me to stick with it and not fall off the wagon which I tend to do. Which is the main reason to blog/ journal my journey of change so I can look back and reflect and maybe gain some support if this journal creates a fan club.
Well, until next time!